No...

Mood: Apologetic, disappointed, sour.

Hello everyone. Wow. I'm blogging constantly right now. And yea, I'm doing this all for her. Because she wants to know how I feel.

Well, I've did some bullshit and I really hate that. I'm so sorry to have added on to your burden instead of easing it. I'm so sorry, dear.

All I hope now is that you would get over him. Not because of me wanting to be your boyfriend and stuff, but because you will be happy. That is all I wish for. Your happiness. Of course, I would be lying if I had said that I would feel a little bitty bit hopeful when you have forgotten about him. Of course I would, and a lot in fact. That doesn't make me selfish, right? I miss you terribly since I haven't seen you for a good two days. I just hope everything's gonna be fine for you. And if you need listening ears, you have mine, if you need advice, you need mine. You need someone to speak through, you have my mouth. Because you already have my heart.

"Love is selfless, yet selfish - Alfred Mcgreggor."

Therefore, I can't really be blamed, right?

And I promise that I would write you a note everyday until our hairs turn grey and we can walk no more.

Alfie.

why?

Mood: Terrible.

Hi people. I wonder why when I start to post on my blog or start listening to songs that are kinda lovely-ish yet sad at the same time, something HAS to happen that will push my mood down the cliffs. When I hear you cry, my heart sank to the bottom. I need not say more than this because you already knew the state of mind I had when we chatted just now.

For every drop of tears you shed, ten drops of blood trickle down my heart. For every time you cry, my heart tells me he wants to die. If you would open my chest now, you'll see my heart, yes, but its fragmenting all over. I'm sorry that I am not the person that you wanna be with when you're feeling low. I know where I stand, and I will soon stop pestering you.

"In true love, there is never a happy ending. Because true love doesn't have an end. - Unknown."

I saw this today in someone's blog. I think Howard showed it to me, and right now, it made SO much sense. Because it doesn't have one. Dear, because he had ended this, he had showed you that his love isn't true. Not at all.

Anyway, why the hell am I being so crazy? I think I need to seek help.

Alfie.

I just don't know why I can't be like him. I love you so but yet, I'm receiving treatment from you as though I'm just another guy that likes you. The world may think I'm lying but as long as you and I know its true, it is all that matters. I crave to hold you like how he had, and I know it is so distant. I'm sorry, but I shan't be such a guy no more.

CORE!

Mood: Tired, yet satisfied.

Wow. What a long day. I'm hating the fact that Sports and Wellness is in the middle of the day, when the sun is scorching hot. I could almost feel my skin break apart when the ray hit my exposed skin.

The fact that we're back to what we were before brightens me up. Thank Lord for that. Thank the Lord for everything that it is!

Nothing else to talk about. I'm so tired. I'm gonna go take a nap now. toodles!

Alfie.

Hi.

To you:

I'm sorry for making you feel uncomfortable. I'd wish that you tell me in person. Because I wanna know what I should do. It has now turned into a terrible ennui. I don't know what I should do now. I only wish that you would know how much I'm in love with you. I don't know how can I stand beside you without being utterly discomposed. I wonder how I should act with you. Please, I need to know and so, please, tell me. Tell me everything that I want to know.

Are you angry with me now? Because I need to know. Are you troubled now? Because I want to share it with you. I'm sorry for making you feel the way you do but you know, I can't help acting the way I do. If you were to ask, I would answer. I'm sorry.

I miss your sweet, beautiful voice. And I need it to fall asleep snuggly every night. Thank you so much for being a listening ear of mine, and I'm sorry that I have changed. I indeed am. Please, please, please give me one chance to redeem myself. I miss that angelic smile that you used to wear when you were with me for that, I will revert to what I was before. I swear I mean it.

When you feel that it is fine for you to talk to me, we shall. I cross my heart and swear that I would be your best friend for as long as you want me to be. I don't want anything to change.

Ohh man!

Mood: Great, yet confused sometimes.

Hello! Wow. It's been awhile since I've blogged about anything. School has been great and I've met great people there. I love you guys so much!

Times are different now and I think I've grown into a much better person. But well, sometimes, I can't really be myself. I don't know whats wrong.

Perhaps its all here again. Everything's back. I hate this. This paranoia, Oh lord. I've made a mistake again. Spare me.

I'm not gonna blog about anything else.

I'm just gonna say I'm sorry.

HELP!

Mood: PANICKY!

Crisis! Crisis! My dearest readers, I'm seeking your help in expanding my new novella! Submit me your desired outcome of Bonnie and Clyde-ish story plot! A free copy will be submitted to you once it has been published.

Please and thank you!

xoxo

Alfie

Bollocks!

Mood: Utterly faithless and angry.

Absurd! How the nerve! This woman that I called Mother had rendered me faithless. I'm really, really angered by her damned sarcasm! It was a mere Ez-Link card of which I have misplaced and I don't EVEN know how the deuce it got out of my wallet and vanish into thin air. Buggery.

Look Mama, it isn't exactly my fault, at least half of it was, that I have misplaced that pathetic little card. I blame my carelessness too, but I was expecting a piece of advice from you. But all I got was sarcasm, sarcasm, sarcasm. Damn it all!

Tick and a tock, time is passing by. GET OVER IT! It isn't half your fault that you have courted a man of such irresponsibility. YOU deserve better. Neither was it mine, you know. I said no to the courtship, neither did I said yes. And I agree I've admitted that he was a pretty nice man, but apparently, it was all his husk. Foul beast are to be banished, I believe, innocents should be left alone. I, for one, happen to be innocent. Leave me out of your rage and anger. Damn me if wrong, but you have been not yourself for a bloody long time. Ever since you came home from Taiwan, you have been foul in mood and in the process, I was assaulted. Psychologically.

And you blame of for starting to puff away. Have you ever looked back into the past when I beg of you to quit smoking but you would brush it aside and tell me lie after lie about you never to smoke again? Buggery. You have been most foolish to think that you have not influenced me. I've loved you for a long time and now, I might just be growing faithless.

Dash it all. Dash it all. I will end my blabbering.

Love,

Alfie.