Woah!

Mood: Nostalgic, relieved.

Wowsers! It's 2:39am and I'm awake blogging. How cool is that? Well, I'm, I don't know. 2/3 through my latest book and I'm loving it so much.

I've stayed up since 5am yesterday thinking about you and those things you had said to me, those that I wanna hear and those that I don't, because they are lodged in my heart like hieroglyphs. I don't think they will disappear anytime soon. Perhaps they will still be there till the day that I lay asleep in my grave for eternity.

Not to forget the time in class where you lay you head against my shoulder. The surge of tenderness crawled down my spine made me smile and I simply can't forget the feeling. But thinking about it brings melancholy to my heart. Because that may be the only time where you're comfortable with my presence. Yes, I do treat you differently, but my heart remains the same. it will never ever change. I swear.

How I miss that weight on my shoulder that I could only wish that I could cradle in my arms. The way you nestle makes me feel comfortable, at peace. Those tears are not sorrow, but they certainly struck a chord of affectionate emotion. Those tears I shed, I shed them with a smile.

As quoted from a friend of mine, "I have a piece of you with me. And that is the memory of you." And truth be told, I actually felt for him. Such relation, huh? I'm just glad you have someone to protect you when you're at work and this lay my heart in peace. So much peace that it is actually scary. Have I no emotions now? Am I to be afraid of loving again? Am I to just forget about everything? It is too much for me to know. Just so very hard to comprehend all these thoughts.

Why does every novel have to end up with the lovers married and living happily-ever-after? That'll never come true. I do sincerely believe in fate but it has been toying with me. Do you really find it so very amusing to see me this way? I don't know.

I don't know. I'm blabbering too much. I love the way we are right now and I don't think I would want anything to change. I like being comfortable around with you. Very comfortable. The eerie peace is what I have been searching for all this time. Even if it means being friends, I'm more than glad to accept my fate. Till then, I'm going to miss that weight of your head nestling down on my shoulder, as though you are resting all your worries on me. They are never too heavy for me for my big fat shoulders to carry, never too heavy for my big fat hands to hold, because of the three words that I can never ever say to you.

I shall end my post on the lighter note that my story is up and running again! I promise scandal and much wit in the story. Do look forward to its release!

Alfie.

TIRED!

Mood: EXHAUSTED!

Hello. Wow... Illustrator is so time consuming and my eyes are surely dry from all the staring. And yea, time is going so well for me. I really have only time to thank for. Hah. I'm not ready to give up but I'm ready to be indifferent, which I don't now if its a good thing or bad thing.

Dahlia: I hope everything's going your way! Do tell me what has changed between the two of you! It's only right that your best friend knows, y'know!

As much as I wanna know, I wanna keep my eyes close. Take away my soul, because I'll always love you, just so you know.

Alfie.

TIRED!

Mood: EXHAUSTED!

Hello. Wow... Illustrator is so time consuming and my eyes are surely dry from all the staring. And yea, time is going so well for me. I really have only time to thank for. Hah. I'm not ready to give up but I'm ready to be indifferent, which I don't now if its a good thing or bad thing.

Dahlia: I hope everything's going your way! Do tell me what has changed between the two of you! It's only right that your best friend knows, y'know!

As much as I wanna know, I wanna keep my eyes close. Take away my soul, because I'll always love you, just so you know.

Alfie.

Wee!

Mood: Tired and weary, but happy!

Wow. 9AM and I'm still blogging. What nerve! HAH. I'm absolutely tired from the sudden awakening from last night at 3 Am. Haven't been sleeping properly since then. Tired, tired, tired.

Dahlia: When you called me yesterday night, I thought something happened to you! I was rather worried and yea I wanted to call you then, but I fear that I might wake you up so I had texted you instead. I wish I could call you every night but school's very hectic. But I promise once we'rte freed up, I'll call you as long as you want me too. I miss your voice too. Or rather, miss you, the person.

Call me silly, but I still wish and hope and pray for something that I'm sure that won't come true.

Alfie.

LOL.

Mood: Bright and sunny. I found it back.

Hello. Wow. Its been awhile since I've last blog. Been busy with school. ILLUSTRATOR, I DAMN YOU TO HELL! Yea. School is busy, life is busy, whatever. But midst all the busy tempo and the hectic lifestyle, I've finally found what truly makes me relax. A book and a cup of coffee in Starbucks. That is life.

Well, I'm dedicating this post to my dearest Dahlia (LOL. That's for calling me Daisy!) because its been awhile since I've done anything for her.

Well, theres really nothing much to blog about, you know. But yep. Thanks to you, I've finally found the "proper" way of loving someone. It is to let that someone go. And I will in time. I just wanna let you know that I'll be here behind you silently to push you through. And when that day comes where you will stretch out your hands and welcome me, I will gladly take them and create our own legacy. (Yes, thats my MSN's display name.) I know you've been losing sleep because of illustrator, and I wish that you would take care of yourself because you need a good health for the coming battle ahead. Three more holidays and Q class will have to split up. I'm sure I can't be there to help you with stuff because I think our class will split up :O If we do, don't forget that I'm always there waiting with my phone and laptop with my Messenger and Facebook on. CUZ THEY CAN BOTH GO ON FACEBOOK AND MESSENGER BTW. (LOL!)

That is about all that I have to blog about, Dahlia. Hope you'll be satisfied after you read this.

And as our skin touch, you envelope my soul with tender sweetness. I crave for this everyday. Lean on me like how you would. Because my shoulders need something to rest on it.

Alfie.

HEE!

Mood: Truthfully happy, relieved.

Hey guys! Today was another typical day but Mr Ant's lesson was hectic. What an ass. HEHE. Yea. and awesome girl, thanks for the chat every night. And all your texts kept me smiling the entire day. Thank you!

Well, I can safely save I'm awake right now and thank you for letting me dream. Thank you so much. Now go, be a happy and free person. I'm sorry for being an ass. You have no obligations in the first place. I'll be right here when you need me because forever and ever, well be the bestest best friend for our entire best life!

Alfie.

ALL RIGHT!

Mood: Angst, terrible heartache, straightened out.

Hey people. Wow. Its been a tough day. Absolutely tough day. It ended at freaking six when it should be like 5. I'm so beat! Kudos to Guanjie for his amazing antics today. Ao Shun's "portrait" is fucking hilarious. I couldn't ask for anything funnier! Shan, you are amazingly funny today too. GOAL LAH GOAL LAH! LOL!

Well, behind the wall of laughter, I feel, well, lost. Lost, afraid. Like this phobic feeling and deja vu kinda feeling. Like everything's happening ALL over again. HAHAHA! But well, what is yours will be yours, someday, somehow. There is no denying that I would still love you, but well, I just want you to be happy this time round. Two days of contact has out-battled two months of care.

You go do what you love, love who you love. You can leave me alone and I'll be okay. Enjoy yourself while you're with him and try to forget whatever he had done to you.

Alfie.