Tuesday, October 28, 2008

silence..

Mood:Like always.

enjoying: The breeze and a cuppa latte.


Just so y'all know, I'm not at home. I'm outside mcdonalds.. somehow, theres a "WiFi" leakage LOL. I'm able to use it in a park nearby (yes I'm at the west side)



yea. the irony. Morning breeze, sitting outside mcdonalds and watching the wave crash and all makes you feel even more depressed lol.

Yea. Inspiration strucks me as well as depression. Peaceful morning.



I call this one, Silence In Black And White (tribute to Hawthorne Heights especially Casey Calvert.But majorly how I felt about my "intriguing" love for her[you])



As I clicked on my TV remote,
Came a knock on a door,
and he left there a note
its the grim, his sign-off told me so
its the grim, in his handwriting, so cold.
colours starts to fade,
and a loud boom, it sounded like a grenade.
everything stopped.
everything halt.
flashes of memory began to crawl.
not too long later, memories began to stop.
on the images we once had,
on the good times we once shared.

I tried to forget,
I tried to reject.
On the story never told,
on the story that never ends.
for I promise to wait for yo my dear,
forever and ever.
but the price it too high to pay.
but I know its now or never.

Somehow, I managed to step outside.
Everything was silent.
Everything was black and white.
My sight flickering as it may seem,
everything became slower than me.
as if I was dead.
as if I was never there.
I tried calling everyone out.
but they seem to ignore me.
I tried shouting them out,
even those that didn't know me.

I cried and I sobbed.
I cried and I weeped.
Figurines starts to bob.
those that know who were we.
We were good friends.
Brother and sister.
now we became nothing,
Its you and a stranger.
A stranger that knows you well,
a stranger that wants you now.
A stranger that became lifeless.
in the fight to seize the crown.
the crown of your love,
its the reason he was hurt.
and it was for your love,
did he realise,
he'd better sleep and die.
he just wants to bless you,
when you sleep everynight.

Soon, the church bell sounded,
my soul, was once again hounded.
not long, it was finally blinded.
by the white light you gave out,
before the grace I fell down.
like an angel, beautiful yet hard to hold,
like the devil, you took my soul.

I will miss you, I said out loud.
I will love you, not only now..


Copyrighted (c) Alfie ]


Girl, every time I think I have, its a shot of a gun, directly hitting my heart. and everytime I dream of you, its the sinking of the dagger, deep into the heart slowly carving out your name. I thank you for the time we spent before.

Monday, October 27, 2008

....... oh my.

Mood: Lonely, disappointment, depression all in one.

Enjoying: Loneliness. and the quiet sounds of being loveless





Has been raining! Embrace the rain and step out into the open, I don't think so. Its just too fucking heavy lol.
It just has to rain on this couple of days. When you're feeling blue and all. Raining just makes it worst. I've been thinking bout her(you) like for a long time. The tears can't fall whilst the crowd, and I can't step out in the rain. MY PSP IS AT STAKE! Yea just when its ok to step outside for a bit, family member came home. Damn.


To You: girl, I know times are getting hard on ya. Its ok. Just take a deep breathe, stand up again.

just trying to find out what have I done to deserve the cold shoulders from you. If I've offended you in anyways I'm sorry. I'd do whatever thati is necessary to get back to you, like a friend. I love you girl, I do not wish to see you hurt yourself like that. I hate myself for not being there for you. I'm sorry.



to end it all, a poem, which I call The Last Goodbye.


[Starting the engine of a car,
Sitting in it, watching the stars,
from the sun roof in a night ever so dark..
I believe its the last goodbye,
murmurs the Fallen Boy,
I'd rather be treated like a toy.
as he pens a letter down,
he heard a gentle sound.
its from his stereo,
a song bing called Being Here Right Now (this is a song that I'm currently writing)
thats how he felt, about you, my dear.
thats how he feel over the pass 2 years.
"If I had collected all my tears" he said.
"I'll fucking drown you in them."
upon finishing the last sentence, tears flowed down.
upon hearing this words, absurb as it may sound,
I feel for him. For his sadness is what I feel,
only, my wound could never heal.
every night I look upon the stars,
I join them up.
I see a picture, a girl holding a heart.
Apparently she took them,
never returning.
She took away whats left of us.
the two Fallen ones. With the same goal.
To get to know the girl,
They thought they once know.
hurt as they are.
fearful as they are.
They wish to look at her.
under the walkway's arc.
Its two seperate entities, they all know.
and its 2 hearts having the same kind of hole.
Drilled by love's construction team.
Leaving a hole that so deep.

From me to you girl, I'd pray for you
From me to you girl, I'll hold you when you're feeling blue.
All I need is a chance from you,
so I could be there, even if life is being crude.
for the second Fallen one.
who happens to be me.
He wish to evaporate, just like steam.
for you would not even talk to him, for you would not even look at him.
for you have been him a cold shoulder,
ever since he said accept me girl.
he cried and he bleed,
popped pills just to sleep.
he wish he could call you his darling,
or even just give you a simple ring.
on the telephone.
"oh,its so hard" he lament.
for his misery is never known.
Even if his courage is form beyond,
all he dares to do now is to blog.
about how he feels and how he treats himself.

Like a mannequin he stood there frozen,
like a mannequin he's soul got stolen.
he wish for you to return him his soul,
for he needs to tell you,
what you never know.
Misery is his only company,
for no knew no one bothers if he bleeds.



Copyrighted Alfie (c). ]


yea so its about all that I have.

Have a nice day readers =)

Friday, October 24, 2008

well.. what could I say?

Mood: Part happy part sad.. Mostly sad ;(

Enjoying: Alone time in Atlantica Online! and Hawthorne heights.




Hey guys! Yea went out with chunsen today. Helluva so-so go-out. And went to Kha!r! de douchebag's crib and crash for awhile.. I swear his one helluva lucky kid since no one is around most of the time!..


Yea thing went pretty well xcept the part of me not having enough gold for my pro-ass gear in atlantica (FUCK!!)


[and the part of me thinking bout you, was simply, exasperating. I hate that.. I really wish I could see you again. Like.. again. cuz i've been missing you real badly. It bleeds on the inside. Haven't really laughed to my hearts content. Even to the funnies of comedians. No. Haven't been really fly ass happy.. For I know a day missing you is a day in paradise, and an eternity in disaster zone. Seasons changed from Spring to Winter in an instance, stars don't shine no more. they crash down to earth.. couples don't love each other no more and the world is black. No grass no trees. Just black abyss. Even the snow flakes turned black in the world. I fall down to my knees and pray for you to take a look at me once again. Just a glance. It'd make me feel better.]









{topping it all off, I call this one, The dream of my life.



like the aurora, mysterious yet mesmerizing.
like the rose, beautiful but pricking.
like the sky, captivating yet hard to reach.
like the stars, your eyes glitter,
like tough medcine, the love is bitter.
like a child needs his blanket, I need your love.
like a nation at war, my heart had thwarted,
like the defence line, my will faltered.
I bleed and I cry every single night,
I miss you girl, I miss the sight.
of you being around with me,
jumping like a kid.
I miss the time of talking to you,
which gives me a wide grin.
I lied about me forgetting bout you, girl, this story is simply true.
my undying love have been given to you,
I hope you'd give me yours too.
I wish right now I could die,
die away in this very night.
hope that I could jump,
down from this very height.
if eight floors ain't enough
I'll make it ten.
if ten ain't enough,
I'll kill myself with my own bare hands.
Lord I invoke thee,
bless her when she sleeps.
for her happiness is the best present Thou can give me.
I don't need eternal life,
I don't need to be by Thy side.
for her happiness, is my life.


copyright*(c) Alfie 2008}



thats bout all I'm posting today!






Girl, I hope you'd see this.. ily.

Sunday, October 19, 2008

Oh yea..

Mood: I feel like my thoughts are getting the better of my emotions.

Enjoying: Nothing!



hey. Yea. Have been feeling real bad recently. I think you are the reason. Afterall, I've been lying to myself for the pass month or so. The feeling never really died away. It alway lingers, waiting for the right time to strike.. I miss you suddenly yea.. Had a dream bout you yesterday night. it was beautiful. I swear. At least I could see you once more..




It was a mistake to have fallen for you from the start.

Sunday, October 12, 2008

Mood: Tired!

Enjoying: Rock session alone!




Yea life sucks I know.. Now I know how it feels like to work... The exhaustion!! OMFG!!

Nothing else to blog.. Just complain about work thats all T.T Cya guys!! =)



Girl IMY!

Friday, October 10, 2008

OMG?

Mood:Happy yet Exhausted

Enjoying:The air. :( no pay no enjoyment.



Hello peeps. Been so long since I blogged. Cuz I'm working~ yea.. Yes! its at chevron house on 13th-15th, the maybank road show! drag your mommy and your daddy etc down to the roadshow, and Stand a chance to win a Porsche Limited Edition Miniature set, Exclusively at the Maybank Roadshow! Its easy! Just sign up with ME: ALFRED! hahahaha... Min Requirement:30k salary per YEAR age group between 21-60!!

Basically, I'm just standing there like a block asking people to sign up for the card. So if you happen to pass by Chevron house at Raffles Place, remember to drag your moms and dads or whoever is working, 21-60 years old and have a yearly salary up to 30k here to the roadshow AND REMEMBER TO LOOK FOR ALFRED!! =)


Girl, sorry I don't have time for you yea? I'll make it a point to text you during lunch =)

Monday, October 6, 2008

hehehehehe

Mood:Dreamy! And irritated by vacuum cleaner.

Enjoying:Some Jason Mraz's and coffee


Hey people! Was just wonder what to wear for prom. Penguin suit or Gangster? hmm..

Yea yesterday night was AWESOME.. Called Babyboo and chatted for quite long yo!! From 6/7pm to 11pm. had a brief pause luh.. Sweetsweet man! Love her lots. Gahh nothing more to crap bout. Waiting for some picture to blog xD alright

Signing off!! Ciao!



Baby, lets make yesterday night a permanent thing.

Sunday, October 5, 2008

HOLY!

Mood: Awesomely Happy!

Enjoying: Lazy afternoon with Secondhand Serenade!



Hey my homies,homelets, bros and sistas! hehehe. Yea its HOLIDAY FOR US NA STUDENTS! N lvls over, stress's (temporarily) over~ yea.. awesome huh?

Well I came across a GIRLS blog. Apparently she things shes GOT IT ALL. Y'all know what I'm saying? Like holymcfuckertonfuckfuckfucksterfuckshitpoopiefuckmcfuckfuckfuckflipflapfuckfuckfuckflatfuck yea, thats how bad it is. Obnoxious brat! Shan't even use the insulting B word lest I wanna get into shits x).

So happy today and yesterday. Had a brief chat with my babyboo. round an hour+++ only. I know it sounds absurb LOL. But usually our chatting spree don't end till the 3rd hour. Well living with your granny simply stinks! Cuz of school and all. No privacy AT ALL. Oh well! Life is like that ch'yall! lol.

Right gotta run now.

Alfie signing off!




Girl, I know times are getting hard! Allswell for your exam! loveya <3

WOAH HOOHOO!!

Mood: BORED

Enjoying: Air =)


Hey sup peeps! so long since I tagged! Anyway, anybody's got some special request for RE4 mods you can contact me =) its only for PC btw.


Hey girl I love you!