Awesome. Nothing's going as planned.

Mood: I'm sick of tired of everything. I'm sick and tired of being sick and tired.


Greetings readers.

First of all, Merry x'mas, be it a good one or a fucked up one. Its pretty awesome to know that your friends are with you when you need them. Really. It is. Guess what? Knowing that the girl you like will be there with you is an AWESOME deal. Even better than having the entire world with you. Because he/she had to leave early, you would wanna treasure every minute with he/she, right? You want to send 'em home but ignorant people will insist that they take a cheaper deal of public transport, leaving you to think "Hey! I'm suppose to send he/she home!" You really can't blame that ignorant individual, really. He's just oblivious to his surrounding.. Thats one thing thats not going as planned.

Its steamboat time! Everyone, the ones you know, the ones you don't, are crowding around the steamboat, dumping food and scooping them out of the pot. "Psst", The sound of beer cans opening resonated around. Everyone was having the time of their life. Somehow, you'll be sensing something missing. Somewhere along the way, you might have left something behind. Somehow, something is not in place. Perhaps its your wallet? No. Its in your pocket. Your phone? Its in your hands, for crying out loud. Your MP3 player? Can't be. You're listening to it. Maybe its the sight of the one you think you will get together with. Yes. This is it. Oh well, since he/she is busy, you thought, just let them be. You open a can of beer, finished it, and continued eating. Without the one you want to be with around, thats the second thing that did not go as planned.

You text them, hoping they could accompany you since everyone is not at home. You're alone. You want someone to accompany you. They tell you they have something on. You smiled and fixed another day. You waited. And they finally told you its okay to fix it at 2 days later. You feel happy. Thats went as planned.

You got home, you got on your instant messaging account. You hope to see them online, and they are. They are online, just sitting there. You double click on their list. You chatted with them and you double confirmed the date. And you felt hopeful. You feel that you will stand a chance with them and you went ahead to drop a hint, or at least to find out their marital status. You asked: "So, I assume you ain't got a boyfriend or girlfriend right?" and they replied "Sort of." You got caught off guard. You staggered. Your pupils widen. You break into a cold sweat. Then you go, sounding as happy as you possibly can: " HAHA! So I assume you're gonna be together anytime soon?" and they reply: " most probably after my exams." your world came crashing down on you. You just can't brace yourself, you fell on your knees. You tried composing yourself. You try to shake the feeling off. Too bad, they linger. Without saying goodbye, you logged off, jumped into your bed, wishing you could sleep it away. Thats the last thing that has not went as planned. You give up.

"The hardest thing to do is watch the one you love, love someone else."

Bloody as hell true! By knowing she love someone else it already could tear you apart. What more watching them do what you did with them.

Alright, enough of my shit. I'll suck it up and move on! Talk to y'all next time!