Monday, June 7, 2010

...

Mood: Absolutely devastated. Destroyed.

Hello, people. Today was an absolutely fucked up day for me. Not that its terrible whatsoever, it's just that it had made me ponder about stuff more. Why does everyone have to go through what they had been through just to experience it one more bloody time, when it is apparent that the latter choice will provide the same experience, if not better. Are all humans daft? If you had thought of letting go, why bother contemplating return? Have humans nothing better to do?

Having fed lies by people around me and myself, I don't know what reality and fantasy is anymore. Every single book I read, I shed tears. No, not because of the fabulous plot (which they all have), but the fact that I can relate to them, even only the slightest. Especially the part about being just friends. It just sends me into the spiraling down, crumbling down to my knees. Do I deserve such nonsense, I ask God all the time, and until today, I'm still waiting for His answer.

well, I know you've given up on reading my stupid blog that meant nothing even if you do read them. Therefore, I'm free to rant whatever I like.

kthx.

Alfie.

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