LOL.

Mood: Bright and sunny. I found it back.

Hello. Wow. Its been awhile since I've last blog. Been busy with school. ILLUSTRATOR, I DAMN YOU TO HELL! Yea. School is busy, life is busy, whatever. But midst all the busy tempo and the hectic lifestyle, I've finally found what truly makes me relax. A book and a cup of coffee in Starbucks. That is life.

Well, I'm dedicating this post to my dearest Dahlia (LOL. That's for calling me Daisy!) because its been awhile since I've done anything for her.

Well, theres really nothing much to blog about, you know. But yep. Thanks to you, I've finally found the "proper" way of loving someone. It is to let that someone go. And I will in time. I just wanna let you know that I'll be here behind you silently to push you through. And when that day comes where you will stretch out your hands and welcome me, I will gladly take them and create our own legacy. (Yes, thats my MSN's display name.) I know you've been losing sleep because of illustrator, and I wish that you would take care of yourself because you need a good health for the coming battle ahead. Three more holidays and Q class will have to split up. I'm sure I can't be there to help you with stuff because I think our class will split up :O If we do, don't forget that I'm always there waiting with my phone and laptop with my Messenger and Facebook on. CUZ THEY CAN BOTH GO ON FACEBOOK AND MESSENGER BTW. (LOL!)

That is about all that I have to blog about, Dahlia. Hope you'll be satisfied after you read this.

And as our skin touch, you envelope my soul with tender sweetness. I crave for this everyday. Lean on me like how you would. Because my shoulders need something to rest on it.

Alfie.

HEE!

Mood: Truthfully happy, relieved.

Hey guys! Today was another typical day but Mr Ant's lesson was hectic. What an ass. HEHE. Yea. and awesome girl, thanks for the chat every night. And all your texts kept me smiling the entire day. Thank you!

Well, I can safely save I'm awake right now and thank you for letting me dream. Thank you so much. Now go, be a happy and free person. I'm sorry for being an ass. You have no obligations in the first place. I'll be right here when you need me because forever and ever, well be the bestest best friend for our entire best life!

Alfie.

ALL RIGHT!

Mood: Angst, terrible heartache, straightened out.

Hey people. Wow. Its been a tough day. Absolutely tough day. It ended at freaking six when it should be like 5. I'm so beat! Kudos to Guanjie for his amazing antics today. Ao Shun's "portrait" is fucking hilarious. I couldn't ask for anything funnier! Shan, you are amazingly funny today too. GOAL LAH GOAL LAH! LOL!

Well, behind the wall of laughter, I feel, well, lost. Lost, afraid. Like this phobic feeling and deja vu kinda feeling. Like everything's happening ALL over again. HAHAHA! But well, what is yours will be yours, someday, somehow. There is no denying that I would still love you, but well, I just want you to be happy this time round. Two days of contact has out-battled two months of care.

You go do what you love, love who you love. You can leave me alone and I'll be okay. Enjoy yourself while you're with him and try to forget whatever he had done to you.

Alfie.

!

Mood: Angry, anxious.

Hello! Oh my god! I went to seven-elevens today and got myself a pack of Eclipse but yea, I was stupid enough to have walked out of the store with the thing in my pocket. And I got suspected for theft. I paid, of course and that shopkeeper was being so sarcastic! Oh my lord. I would almost sack his face but yea, its my fault so I'm not gonna do that. But I lost it and swear at him. I must sincerely apologize for that.

Well, yesterday was a lonely Saturday night and you were running in my head like the entire night. I only fell asleep at five in the morning and I woke up to realize I've only fallen asleep for three minutes! Silly me. Yea. Anxiety attack has kept me awake for the entire night. I'm just so afraid. So, so afraid. We all know what I'm afraid of so let us not mention it. But as long as you are happy, I'll be happy too. "I'll smile when you smile, I'll frown when you frown." I'll always remember this. I'm your bed and you'll be sure that you have something to lie on.

And I hope you'll like the little surprise I have in stored for you.

Alfie.

For once, it is not a masquerade. It's a carnival.

Mood: Hopeless, genuinely happy.

Hello.

Today was a really short day. Like holy crap. And well, yesterday night wasn't the best night I've had. I guess I have to give something in order to achieve something.

Hey, listen, girl. Do not worry about a thing. Everything's gonna be alright. Shes only doing so just to protect me. She doesn't hate anyone. I'll talk to her about everything okay? It'll be fine. One day, she'll realize how sweet of a girl you are. "To me you're the star, to me you're my heart", remember? So if she's gonna dislike the star and my heart, she's gonna dislike me then. Please shine again. My day is a rainy one without your glitter.

Alfie.

HAHAHA

Mood: Tired, agonized.

Hello. Wow. For the first time, I feel asleep during class. And it was during practical. I hate this headache man. Like so brutally uncomfortable. I've realized that my story is like every other male acquaintance I have. But I just hope I would have an ending totally different from theirs. Do I have the write to dream, I asked. I think I do.

Well I just that day come no matter how long it takes. I just want You and I to be Us.

You take care and have a speedy recovery because I miss you every second without your presence!

Alfie.

Hoho.

Mood: Hopeless, Tired.

Hello. Well, it's been a tough day filled with laughter. Thanks to Elfie, Ed, Ming hui, ced, Yas, JL, Brendan, Howwie. And you. I now understand why people had to wear their mask. Because being happy will make those around you happy too.

Ridiculing people gets old and when it does, I have absolutely nothing else to do. Well, I made you laugh and I am really happy about it. And hence, I smiled pretty much my entire day.

Whenever I see you, I would have two voices in my head. One voice's telling me to give up because it will be nothing but a void. Another tells me that I should carry on. One part of me is hopeless, the other is hopeful. And I finally now what hopelessness feels like.

Take good care of yourself since he will no longer be there to care and I will do whatever I can to make you feel cared and loved.

Rest well, princess. You have a fever, okay?

Alfie.

Oh?

Mood: Lost, disappointed, enlightened.

Hello people. Have you ever get that feeling of yours, when you wake up in the morning and you feel absolutely lost? Well, I just had that kind of feeling. Like seriously. I wake up this morning to realize I've lost something. I don't know what but yea, I feel lost. Perhaps its that talk we have yesterday, you know? Guess my hopes are finally dwindling since I'm trying not to give myself too much. I'll be happy, as I promised but sometimes, I just can't help but feel my melancholic side get the better of me.

Thanks for listening to me pour my sorrows out yesterday and I really hope someday, we'll join hands as one.

I'll hold my left hand in the air and my right across my heart. I swear I would wait until that day comes. I'll love you even if it doesn't.

Alfie.

Irreplaceable.

Mood: Relieved, tired, apologetic.

Hey people! Wow, the frequency of me blogging has increased. And it's all because of you. Well, they will decrease because I'll be putting them on pen and paper and into the envelope. Just hope that you will read them. :)

School's tiring though. Didn't get enough sleep. And the ghost story moment is SPLENDID! I couldn't ask for anything more exciting and enjoyable. Thank you, darlings!

Alfie.

WEE

Mood:Hopeful.

Well, it's the 10th of may and it's a bright Monday morning. Nothing much to talk about since its the start of the day, you know. HOHO!

You texted me late in the night to tell me that "we've wronged him", and the first thought was, how naive could my sweet girl be? I've been through all these and as a guy, I can safely say when my ex-girlfriend whom still loves me a lot ask me about a girl I complimented, I would try to conjure a lie just to make her feel better. I do not doubt his love for you but somehow, I feel he doesn't know how to do it properly. If you want him back, dear, you have to talk to him about it. It is the best for both of you.

HEHE! I'm looking forward to today and I shall see my darlings... YES DARLINGS, in school today!

Alfie.

Oh!

Mood: Disappointed yet genuinely happy.

Hello.

It's been 24 hours of thinking and I've yet to find a reason to why I should stop loving and start giving up.

If there's a movie that would make me relate to right now, is 500 Days of Summer. Because I'll always be your "best friend". And I'm glad that it will work out that way and it's because I'll find the next season after you have left.

"It is a story of a boy and a girl, but keep this in mind, this is not a love story. - 500 Days of Summer"

It will be our statement until you eventually open up your heart. I'm sorry for not being able to be the one. and of course, I'm rather jealous, and not envious of him. I really am. It's not an everyday thing that I fall so madly for a girl.

Thats when I wish everything would go back to when I first saw you. I would pull myself from falling in love with you and everything would be fine right now. Well, if only I could turn back time. If I could, I would know you and your ex-boyfriend and I'll travel back to your turbulent time and enlighten him, making sure that he treats you right and not make you cry. Like I've said, What is a man when he makes a woman cry?

I guess I'll just have to try my best until you fall in love with me and change our story plot to "The Notebook"

Alfie.

No...

Mood: Apologetic, disappointed, sour.

Hello everyone. Wow. I'm blogging constantly right now. And yea, I'm doing this all for her. Because she wants to know how I feel.

Well, I've did some bullshit and I really hate that. I'm so sorry to have added on to your burden instead of easing it. I'm so sorry, dear.

All I hope now is that you would get over him. Not because of me wanting to be your boyfriend and stuff, but because you will be happy. That is all I wish for. Your happiness. Of course, I would be lying if I had said that I would feel a little bitty bit hopeful when you have forgotten about him. Of course I would, and a lot in fact. That doesn't make me selfish, right? I miss you terribly since I haven't seen you for a good two days. I just hope everything's gonna be fine for you. And if you need listening ears, you have mine, if you need advice, you need mine. You need someone to speak through, you have my mouth. Because you already have my heart.

"Love is selfless, yet selfish - Alfred Mcgreggor."

Therefore, I can't really be blamed, right?

And I promise that I would write you a note everyday until our hairs turn grey and we can walk no more.

Alfie.

why?

Mood: Terrible.

Hi people. I wonder why when I start to post on my blog or start listening to songs that are kinda lovely-ish yet sad at the same time, something HAS to happen that will push my mood down the cliffs. When I hear you cry, my heart sank to the bottom. I need not say more than this because you already knew the state of mind I had when we chatted just now.

For every drop of tears you shed, ten drops of blood trickle down my heart. For every time you cry, my heart tells me he wants to die. If you would open my chest now, you'll see my heart, yes, but its fragmenting all over. I'm sorry that I am not the person that you wanna be with when you're feeling low. I know where I stand, and I will soon stop pestering you.

"In true love, there is never a happy ending. Because true love doesn't have an end. - Unknown."

I saw this today in someone's blog. I think Howard showed it to me, and right now, it made SO much sense. Because it doesn't have one. Dear, because he had ended this, he had showed you that his love isn't true. Not at all.

Anyway, why the hell am I being so crazy? I think I need to seek help.

Alfie.

I just don't know why I can't be like him. I love you so but yet, I'm receiving treatment from you as though I'm just another guy that likes you. The world may think I'm lying but as long as you and I know its true, it is all that matters. I crave to hold you like how he had, and I know it is so distant. I'm sorry, but I shan't be such a guy no more.

CORE!

Mood: Tired, yet satisfied.

Wow. What a long day. I'm hating the fact that Sports and Wellness is in the middle of the day, when the sun is scorching hot. I could almost feel my skin break apart when the ray hit my exposed skin.

The fact that we're back to what we were before brightens me up. Thank Lord for that. Thank the Lord for everything that it is!

Nothing else to talk about. I'm so tired. I'm gonna go take a nap now. toodles!

Alfie.

Hi.

To you:

I'm sorry for making you feel uncomfortable. I'd wish that you tell me in person. Because I wanna know what I should do. It has now turned into a terrible ennui. I don't know what I should do now. I only wish that you would know how much I'm in love with you. I don't know how can I stand beside you without being utterly discomposed. I wonder how I should act with you. Please, I need to know and so, please, tell me. Tell me everything that I want to know.

Are you angry with me now? Because I need to know. Are you troubled now? Because I want to share it with you. I'm sorry for making you feel the way you do but you know, I can't help acting the way I do. If you were to ask, I would answer. I'm sorry.

I miss your sweet, beautiful voice. And I need it to fall asleep snuggly every night. Thank you so much for being a listening ear of mine, and I'm sorry that I have changed. I indeed am. Please, please, please give me one chance to redeem myself. I miss that angelic smile that you used to wear when you were with me for that, I will revert to what I was before. I swear I mean it.

When you feel that it is fine for you to talk to me, we shall. I cross my heart and swear that I would be your best friend for as long as you want me to be. I don't want anything to change.

Ohh man!

Mood: Great, yet confused sometimes.

Hello! Wow. It's been awhile since I've blogged about anything. School has been great and I've met great people there. I love you guys so much!

Times are different now and I think I've grown into a much better person. But well, sometimes, I can't really be myself. I don't know whats wrong.

Perhaps its all here again. Everything's back. I hate this. This paranoia, Oh lord. I've made a mistake again. Spare me.

I'm not gonna blog about anything else.

I'm just gonna say I'm sorry.